we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize