My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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