I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
