you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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