if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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