i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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