I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
