I understand Curling. That high.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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