Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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