Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You need a sexual gate keeper
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
