meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
