something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize