the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
