You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
