one might say we're banned from that church
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
