And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
