i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
