just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
