i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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