I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
