Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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