so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
