spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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