I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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