I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize