Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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