my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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