I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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