she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
