worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
