Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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