i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize