I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize