Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
