Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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