Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
