guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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