went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
