Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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