On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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