that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
