i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.