I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.