i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.