called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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