we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
