Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just invented taco cereal.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
