this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
