4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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