So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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