East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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