i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
