Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
