Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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