he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
