what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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