we have officially lost it.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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