And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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