32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
